I have too many song lyrics, prose, dreams, and plans bouncing around in my mind, and drink too much wine to lie to you...I've fought tooth and nail to love and accept myself, so, what you see, is what you get. Don't want the truth? Don't ask me. I won't stop living out loud, or freely living my truth for anyone.
-jj thames.
Those of you who have been following my blog, Facebook posts, and/or music career for any amount of time know that I have no secrets, nor do I have any shame...I am who I am...I do not apologize for my past, present or dreams for my future. I learn from all of it, and I share my discoveries freely...I do not embarrass easily, if at all. (you can ask my band members about that-I've taken a few tumbles off of stage, only to climb back up, and keep the party going. One time, I fell on stage and couldn't get up without showing all my goodies, so I sat on the floor in my mini dress, crossed my legs and finished singing the rest of the song sitting on the stage (got a standing ovation for that one.) I even peed my pants once while hitting a high note...laughter was the way to properly handle all those situations- what would embarrassment do? absolutely nothing...the show must go on. Don't act like you have never fell, ran into a wall, or accidentally farted in public-the truth would not be in you. We ALL make mistakes...shrug* just part of life. It's the beauty of the human experience.)
I tell what I want to tell, when I want to. I have learned over time- that tends to make some people feel some kind of way. Some, self-conscious...others,angry...many might actually be concerned about my welfare- and they scold me for sharing so much information. This is my point, YOU CAN'T HURT ME WITH THE TRUTH!! Truth is light, and this little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine! What you do with yours...is your business.
Light brings clarity, understanding, peace, growth, acceptance, and freedom. It is in the darkness where the devil may play. That is where guilt, shame,betrayal, resentment, half-truths, misunderstandings, fear, manipulation, control, and hurt reside. I want NO PART of it, I am never angry at someone telling me the truth, even if it hurts my feelings, or is disappointing...I'm a big girl, and wear big girl bloomers. I appreciate, expect and respect candor and forthrightness.
Where you see another side of me, is when you try to manipulate, handle, coerce, control, maneuver, trick, or mislead me. (Those people have a special ring tone on my phone, should they call- the song "Trick Me" by Kelis..."Might trick me once, I won't let you trick me twice." Which just serves as a reminder to be cognizant of that fact if I decide to answer the call.) THAT JJ is not a nice JJ. While I will forgive you for your faux pas- I will also be truthful and talk to YOU about how I feel about it, and will promptly distance myself from you.
It took me a long time to understand that forgiveness does not necessarily mean instant reconciliation. Some people are toxic, and have no desire to change, which only perpetuates the cycle of use and abuse. Me accepting your behavior and restoring a relationship with you without first seeing consistent change, enables you to remain the same, inviting you to repeat the bad behavior towards me. Real friends challenge you to be the best you can be,using people to their detriment is not the best you can muster. Additionally, Its unhealthy to remain in such relationships, and chances are that you will certainly continue to encroach upon and trample my personal boundaries, if I do not require that they be respected. Maya Angelo said, "When people show you who they are, believe them." In short, when I discern opportunistic, manipulative, lying, using, controlling people that like to live in the gray area, and play in the darkness...I RUN! (and pray for them later.)
I have been receiving inboxes and emails from individuals telling me that I tell too much about myself. That I should heal quietly, and when someone asks me how I am doing- I should just say that everything is fine, or okay...then tell the story after I get over it. Well...that means that I would be LYING! I lie for NO ONE! Everything is NOT fine...I am NOT okay! (although, I am getting better, thanks.) I am going through a very difficult time in my life, and I am finding my way through. I am not ashamed to say that I don't know all the answers. I am not shy to say that sometimes it feels like my world is completely dismantled; I have to sort out my thoughts and emotions to bring to God to allow Him to pull it all back together- cuz I'm a hot mess. I am not sheepish to say, I can't...but He can. I am not reluctant to shout from the mountaintops my deep faith and trust in God and His Word, and my need and desperation for Him. Nor am I hesitant to admit that I am not the most perfect Christian that ever lived either- I am still a work in progress.
Basically, I do NOT have it all together...I am a beautiful mess, that functions in organized chaos. I live my truth...and I live it out loud with no reservations. What matters most, is that I am fine with me. I love me...because God loves me. I acknowledge my weaknesses, and trust God to work them out in me. Aside from those that scold me, you'd be shocked how many other inboxes and emails I receive from people asking me to pray for them, divulging their personal situations; and thanking me for being transparent- because they thought they were all alone in their journey. That they thought something was wrong with them, because they just couldn't seem to get it right in their own lives. We uplift, and support each other...we empower each other and unite by living our truths. We overcome judgement, prejudice, hatred, misunderstandings, envy, jealousy, and hopelessness simply by telling our real story. There is power in your testimony.
I stand by this...telling and living your truth is the most freeing thing in the world. Its when you get to the place that you truly don't care what people think about you (and don't just say that you don't, when really, it tears you up inside when someone doesn't approve of you or your decisions.) There are so many people who are living in houses, driving in cars, putting their children in schools, and wearing clothes, shoes, bags, etc...that they can't afford, at all...to fit in, and find happiness in an image. There are people suffering in silence with illnesses (physical, mental, and emotional), failing or dead marriages, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, financial woes, reconfiguring their faces, and bodies, and the like...just to be a social media star, and/or the envy of all their friends. We are trying to find our worth and identity in things that don't matter... Things that are temporal, meaningless and like chasing the wind- perfection that humanity was never created to achieve.
By no means am I condoning mediocrity, because I am not. What I am merely saying is that...nobody's perfect. No matter how beautiful they are, how much money they have, how much of a spiritual giant they may be. It doesn't matter how perfect their marriage appears, how well behaved their children are, how much knowledge they possess. We all have issues...we all have flaws, needs, wants, fears, baggage, shortages, unfulfilled passions, lonely nights, and unrealized dreams.
The more honest we are with each other...the more that we realize that we are not alone, and we all need each other to be our best. No man is an island...everybody needs somebody sometime...How will you know who really loves you for you, and who you truly love, and who's destined to be in your life...If it doesn't begin with the truth? Anything that's built on a lie, cannot truly last,
I need people to see me for me, understand, appreciate and love me for me...not for who they think that I am, what I can do for them, or what I should be. That's why I am transparent...that's why I put myself out there on stage, online, in my writings and books...in my everyday relationships. What you see, is what you get...what you are, is what you attract...(if you keep your eyes open, and listen to your heart, you know when someone doesn't reflect what you put out- real recognizes real.) I won't change, and I won't apologize for it...That's my truth, and I'm sticking to it. #tellthetruthshamethedevil #realtalk #keepit100 #lovemeforme #thetruthshallsetyoufree #honestyreallyisthebestpolicy #youdonthavetorememberthetruth #youaintgottalietokickit #realrecognizesreal #liveyourtruth
Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
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