My heart is heavy tonight...I feel like there's so many unhappy, hurting people out there - Looking for answers.
I genuinely know what it is to feel like the world is closing in on you. To have your deepest fears turn to ice in your veins...when hope seems hopeless, and the smallest sliver of joy around you seems like a cruel joke. I know what it's like to be lonely, heartbroken, disregarded, disrespected and betrayed. When the tears you cry are never enough- and soothe nothing, and the grief you feel reaches to a place you can't even find to rub. Wherever you go-it stays with you in some indescript place in the center of your being. I even know what it's like to watch your dreams spin down the drain, and to entertain the thought of death as a comforting notion.
You are not alone.
The wide open mouth smile you often see, and the #happygirljj tag- was paid for with many desperate nights of prayer and calling on the name of Jesus. I have learned to be content no matter what my situation. (And don't let the smooth taste fool ya. It ain't always pretty.)
Over the course of time, and through experiencing different levels of heartbreak. Ive learned a few things that are key to a healthy bounce back...most important is knowing that...God will NEVER leave you or forsake you. In the depths of your mental, physical, emotional hell...He is there. He hears you, and his heart hurts with you. No good Daddy likes to see his baby cry...and YOU and your grown self...are His sweet little baby. He hasn't forgotten about you. He still has a plan for your life. It's not over. Don't give up! Trouble REALLY doesn't last always. I look back on some things in my life and am AMAZED at whaa He brought me through. I mean...I'm actually still alive to tell the story. Not sure that I should be. But his grace is perfect.
Prayer works...WORSHIP your way through your darkest hours. Sing to Him. Talk to Him. Pour your whole being out to Him. Scream, cry...Tell him EVERYTHING! Then take your eyes off of your despair...and put them on His love. Look through his word to find what he has to say about you.
Did you know that He bottles your tears, (Psalm 56:8) and promises to repay you for them? (Joel 2:25) well He does...Oh dear heart, He loves you more than you could ever possibly know. I know it seems dark right now...really dark. But, know that sunlight is coming soon. Look up! You are loved. Shalom.💜💜💜💜
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