jj thames...naked.

"The worst part of success  is trying to find someone who is happy for you." -Bette Midler An open letter to my "Number One" Fan: *clears throat* *sips tea...literally* Sooo...It's 5am...and I'm still up working...but, I took a break to just look at my schedule...and I found myself a little choked up...I mean...I've had lights cut off (water too)...been evicted...had cars (CARS...plural) repoed, been hungry...slept on trains, been homeless, washed up in sinks, slept in houses with rats and roaches,and busted windows, couch surfed, busked for money, I've been robbed (at gunpoint) after doing a show that was going to get me and my family out of an extended stay hotel and into our own house...and slept on a stranger's couch for a month until I could make it all back. I've been taken advantage of, lied to, worked over, hustled, cheated, stolen from...worked 5 jobs at once, been fired a few times...and hired more times than a little bit, a...

livid, adj . [Screw] you for cheating on me. [Screw] you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating , anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he's gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar . [Screw] you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned" -David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary I'm gonna get back to my Asperger's list tomorrow...but, I had something really interesting happen today...and I want to talk to ya'll about it... I've got a question for you... "Would you stay with your man if he cheated on you, and a baby was conce...

"When you die, others who think they know you, will concoct things about you...Better pick up a pen and write it yourself, for you know yourself best." -Sholom Aleichem I know that there's alot of you out there asking- what is this Asperger's?  It's basically social autism. In my case (each person deals with different symptoms in their own unique way) Here's a "proper" explanation from one of my favorite blogs, Aspergiangal- What is Aspergers?   I'm not Napoleon Dynomite, or Rainmain...I'm not some genius kick ass assasin like Ben Affleck on the movie 'The Accountant' either...I'm just me...Some of my traits are like superpowers...they give me extra cool abilities...while others are just a pain in the glutes. I'll start with the negative and finish up with all of my Aspie Wonder Woman superdom...for ME, some symptoms of Asperger's are: A.  I don't make eye contact (well, I've learned to, but I don...

"Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends." -Aberjhani you have to...must got to...please need should...dire imperative burden heavy... pertinent...can..will...shall... believe in yourself... There's going to be wolves... there's going to be demons... there's going to be haters... that will all tell you that you aren't good enough that you can't do it without whatever you seem to be missing at the moment... that you aren't enough... they will sneer at you...they will envy you...they will even hate you... then smile in your face, and then there's you... wishing for others' sparkly "dazzling thing-a-mabob" or "gee-whiz wallah-kazam" that you've convinced yourself that if only you had...you'd be so much farther,..so much better... struggling to keep your eyes on your own paper...like the anxiety riddled 4.0 student that doubts her answer on a mid-term...so much to los...

"Grief is in two parts.  The first is loss.  The second is the remaking of life." -Anne Roiphe I'll be honest ( as usual) and say that I don't even know where to start this entry...*deep breath* I mean...okay... So, I'm kinda new to this whole blogging thing, and like my unconventional and sometimes extremely spontaneous self, just started writing and figured that I would figure out all of the ins and outs later. I guess today was later...because I JUST learned that  I needed to put labels on my posts so...*drumroll please* people could actually discover my blog! *ba dum ching* Don't judge me....you don't know my life. lol. Anyhoo...there's a point to this story...Today for the first time, I had to go back over almost 2 years of posts so that I could add labels. Of course to add proper labels, I had to read my previous thoughts, confessions, and the like...and boy..,did I feel...naked! Not ashamed...but, just really exposed...not to ya'...

"I think of dieting, then I eat pizza." - Lara Stone Welp! 1 month left before my completely vegan life begins...(or resumes...depending on how you look at it).  I'm slowly eradicating animal products from my diet...it's funny how things come back around full circle...I started eating meat and dairy at 17 by my doctors advice (pregnancy with my 1st son)...I wouldn't agree to that advice now...but, now at 34...I'm done having babies, and I'm finding  myself going back to my original diet. My mother began a vegan lifestyle when she was in her early 20s because of cancer markers. She actually beat cancer twice with natural treatment...So...I grew up with certain dietary restrictions and being taught about food and it's relation to our overall well being. I've never eaten pork or shellfish...but, beef, freshwater fish, and chicken did become a part of my diet. Fortunately, I have been blessed to not have ever experienced any health problems. H...

It's always amazing to write new music--- as one of those "artsy" people...whatever I am going through is addressed in my writing...Writing is how I purge, heal, grow, clarify, and process...It's how I breathe... My influences are truly different this time around. My sound is different this time around...I feel like I'm finally stripping away expectations of others and revealing myself as the artist that I have always been in my head. I have nothing to lose. Songwriting concepts that I've wanted to capture for a long time now, but hadn't reached the level of musicianship to be able to execute it without it sounding forced- are now flowing effortlessly like water. It's not as simple as writing about broken hearts, and angry woman anthems...though those have served me well over the years...I'm tackling subjects that make me walk circumspectly around my own heart and mind, looking into the shadows, and expanding the understanding of myself and m...