A Change Gone Come

This made my day this morning. I've had some really hard circumstances that I have faced for almost 2 years now. I am coming out of it a changed person. A better person. A person with something of value to say, and to offer to others. This video sums up what I've had to truly learn over the last 2 years...DAILY. There were some days...I didn't think I would make it. I suffered from and struggled with fear, loneliness, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, weariness, basically, just wanting to throw my hands up, and quit...EVERYTHING! but God...now, I know in the depths of my soul...A change gone come. I call it done! I am not afraid. Here I stand. Expecting...watching God bring all my dreams to pass...learning to be silent, to be still...and to KNOW that He is God.

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JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY- DAY 2- Moment By Moment

"Live one moment at a time... sometimes a day is still just too long" -jj thames. Today is the day that I took a step back, and said... "Whoa...Lord...do you know how long a year is?? That's...365 days!! 8,760 hours!! That's...that's...525,600 minutes!! 31,536,000 seconds!! and a bazillion, gagillion, moments!! Oh Lawd! What have I done??" I began to feel myself get light headed as I fanned myself, and instantly spiraled into loneliness, and despair...and kicked myself for making the lofty commitment. (Really felt like punching myself in the face) "Fix it Jesus!" is what I whispered maybe 8 or 9 times under my breath- but nothing changed. I had wrote it down, told my accountability partners...and made the promise to God. I'm stuck, and felt like throwing an all out 2-year-old-I'ma-embarrass-my-mama-in-the-store-fall-down-on-the-floor-knockin-stuff-offa-shelves-everybody-looking-at-her-like-you-need-to-whoop-your-ch...

JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY DAY 5- Divorce is of the Devil...

"You don't know how "one" you've really become- until you're ripped apart. Divorce is of the devil... I wish it on no one...ever." -jj thames. Not in the mood to face the world today. so I won't. my bed is my solace... listening to my new record, tightening up arrangements, listening for more possibilities- soothes my angst. this divorce stuff irks my soul... one or two days- I barely think about it. next day...I feel like I've been hit by a bullet train at maximum speed- and just want to lay in my darkened bedroom and look at the ceiling. No tmusic, no TV...just me...my bed...and the ceiling. Sleep usually eventually welcomes me. But, then there's the dreams- and waking again to the pain. I feel like a part of me has died. It's a strange kind of pain... its a numbing abiding pain...like an irritating itch deep in your soul that you really have no kind of way to scratch. You just have to talk about it, and su...

Jj's Year of Coming Of Age: Day 152- Spillin' the Tea -Part 3- Chronicles of the Sidechick Wife...Not a Typo.

livid, adj . [Screw] you for cheating on me. [Screw] you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating , anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he's gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar . [Screw] you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned" -David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary I'm gonna get back to my Asperger's list tomorrow...but, I had something really interesting happen today...and I want to talk to ya'll about it... I've got a question for you... "Would you stay with your man if he cheated on you, and a baby was conce...

jj thames...naked.

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