Choking on Greatness

When I leave this earth...I will close my eyes saying I have finished my course. I will have used every gift, talent and treasure that God placed on the inside of me. I will excel at everything that my hand touches...and will live a life marked with excellence. Mediocrity has no place in my life. I was not born mediocre...and I will not live, love, nor die mediocre. I will do all that I can do...and God will do the rest. ‪#‎tellyouwhatiknow‬ ‪#‎happygirljj‬ ‪#‎iaintgoin‬‪#‎thegrinddontstop‬ ‪#‎destinedforgreatness‬ ‪#‎discipline‬ ‪#‎imfocusedman‬‪#‎noworries‬ ‪#‎humble‬ ‪#‎growth‬ ‪#‎refinement‬

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JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY- DAY 2- Moment By Moment

"Live one moment at a time... sometimes a day is still just too long" -jj thames. Today is the day that I took a step back, and said... "Whoa...Lord...do you know how long a year is?? That's...365 days!! 8,760 hours!! That's...that's...525,600 minutes!! 31,536,000 seconds!! and a bazillion, gagillion, moments!! Oh Lawd! What have I done??" I began to feel myself get light headed as I fanned myself, and instantly spiraled into loneliness, and despair...and kicked myself for making the lofty commitment. (Really felt like punching myself in the face) "Fix it Jesus!" is what I whispered maybe 8 or 9 times under my breath- but nothing changed. I had wrote it down, told my accountability partners...and made the promise to God. I'm stuck, and felt like throwing an all out 2-year-old-I'ma-embarrass-my-mama-in-the-store-fall-down-on-the-floor-knockin-stuff-offa-shelves-everybody-looking-at-her-like-you-need-to-whoop-your-ch...

JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY DAY 5- Divorce is of the Devil...

"You don't know how "one" you've really become- until you're ripped apart. Divorce is of the devil... I wish it on no one...ever." -jj thames. Not in the mood to face the world today. so I won't. my bed is my solace... listening to my new record, tightening up arrangements, listening for more possibilities- soothes my angst. this divorce stuff irks my soul... one or two days- I barely think about it. next day...I feel like I've been hit by a bullet train at maximum speed- and just want to lay in my darkened bedroom and look at the ceiling. No tmusic, no TV...just me...my bed...and the ceiling. Sleep usually eventually welcomes me. But, then there's the dreams- and waking again to the pain. I feel like a part of me has died. It's a strange kind of pain... its a numbing abiding pain...like an irritating itch deep in your soul that you really have no kind of way to scratch. You just have to talk about it, and su...

Jj's Year of Coming of Age: Day 178- Spillin' Tea- Cussin Mad...And Tryin' To Forgive...

"I used to think that the worst thing in life to end up alone. It's not... The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone. " -Robin Williams Pictured above...2013...My son Israel and I in our new home after 31/2 years of on again, off again homelessness. We were pretty stoked. Right now is truly one of the best times of my life...go figure. FINALLY...after all of the hurting, pain. suffering...sacrificing, fighting, surviving... darkness, confusion, fear...shame, depression, and loneliness...My dreams...my vision of what my life was always supposed to be, even as a little girl- is materializing and indubitably coming to pass. And while I should be over the moon- flipping cartwheels, not caring if the world sees my panty drawers, and skipping around singing the smurf song...happy as a pig in fresh poo...I'm not... Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful...beyond grateful...honored...humbled, and not taki...

jj thames...naked.

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