Tell You What I Know

I have been writing for 7 hours straight...it doesn't even seem that long. I am amazed at how this book is seamlessly coming together. It's like I'm not even thinking as I'm writing...like it's just pouring out from the innermost places of my heart.

Sometimes, I have to stop, and read back over what I wrote a few times, because I was in almost a trance like state as I pushed the keys on my laptop. I just KNOW that I'm going to read back gibberish...but, it's not...it's exactly what I meant to say...‪#‎craziness‬.

This story is hard to tell...it often has me feeling some kind of way...it's my truth in its rawest form...and I feel so naked. But, I can't bare to make it any other way. Any other way would be an injustice. Its the truth that is gonna help somebody.

I didn't erase anything...i left the 19 chapters as they were...and after falling sleeping last night feeling defeated, and concerned...I woke up this am, with an idea and a plan. Watching it unfold is like watching a miracle. I'm about to be a published author!!! My 5th grade teacher spoke it into my life over 20 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday...she looked me in the eyes and said "you're going to write a best selling book one day!" I hope to God that she's still alive so that I can deliver a copy to her.‪#‎anotherdreamcomingtrue‬ ‪#‎dontgiveup‬ ‪#‎persistencepaysoff‬‪#‎tellyouwhatiknow‬ ‪#‎yourgiftwillmakeroomforyou‬ ‪#‎happygirljj‬‪#‎everydaysanadventure‬ ‪#‎ilovemylife‬

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JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY- DAY 2- Moment By Moment

"Live one moment at a time... sometimes a day is still just too long" -jj thames. Today is the day that I took a step back, and said... "Whoa...Lord...do you know how long a year is?? That's...365 days!! 8,760 hours!! That's...that's...525,600 minutes!! 31,536,000 seconds!! and a bazillion, gagillion, moments!! Oh Lawd! What have I done??" I began to feel myself get light headed as I fanned myself, and instantly spiraled into loneliness, and despair...and kicked myself for making the lofty commitment. (Really felt like punching myself in the face) "Fix it Jesus!" is what I whispered maybe 8 or 9 times under my breath- but nothing changed. I had wrote it down, told my accountability partners...and made the promise to God. I'm stuck, and felt like throwing an all out 2-year-old-I'ma-embarrass-my-mama-in-the-store-fall-down-on-the-floor-knockin-stuff-offa-shelves-everybody-looking-at-her-like-you-need-to-whoop-your-ch...

JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY DAY 5- Divorce is of the Devil...

"You don't know how "one" you've really become- until you're ripped apart. Divorce is of the devil... I wish it on no one...ever." -jj thames. Not in the mood to face the world today. so I won't. my bed is my solace... listening to my new record, tightening up arrangements, listening for more possibilities- soothes my angst. this divorce stuff irks my soul... one or two days- I barely think about it. next day...I feel like I've been hit by a bullet train at maximum speed- and just want to lay in my darkened bedroom and look at the ceiling. No tmusic, no TV...just me...my bed...and the ceiling. Sleep usually eventually welcomes me. But, then there's the dreams- and waking again to the pain. I feel like a part of me has died. It's a strange kind of pain... its a numbing abiding pain...like an irritating itch deep in your soul that you really have no kind of way to scratch. You just have to talk about it, and su...

Jj's Year of Coming Of Age: Day 152- Spillin' the Tea -Part 3- Chronicles of the Sidechick Wife...Not a Typo.

livid, adj . [Screw] you for cheating on me. [Screw] you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating , anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he's gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar . [Screw] you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned" -David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary I'm gonna get back to my Asperger's list tomorrow...but, I had something really interesting happen today...and I want to talk to ya'll about it... I've got a question for you... "Would you stay with your man if he cheated on you, and a baby was conce...

jj thames...naked.

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