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JJ'S YEAR OF DESTINY- DAY 3- No. No. No...

"I said no.
I meant no.
and I feel no guilt about it.
You're opinion about me exercising my freedom to opt out, frankly, is none of my business.
The answer is still, and forever will be...no!"
-jj thames.


NO!
NO!
NO!
NOOOOOOO!
whew* feels good. I feel empowered by my rediscovering my freedom in, and knowing the power of my "NO!"

I find it amazing that often one of the first words a child learns to say is, "NO!" (usually because as they toddle around like a Tasmanian Devil, a whirlwind of destruction...a frazzled parent is running behind them, screeching...)
"No! Put that down!"
"No! Don't touch that!"
"No! Stop jumping on the couch!"
"No! Don't give the dog bubblegum!"
"Don't lick the doorknob! No!"
It's easy to see how the word can become...well, rather familiar.

Parents tend to be somewhat put out and slightly irritated when the tables turn, and their precious blossoming ball of atomic energy looks them squarely in the eye and says...
"No! I no want bwoccli!"
"No! I no want baff!"
"No bed! I watch Spongebob!"
"No kisses!" (and promptly wipes their sweet cheek, and looks at you like you are Satan's spawn)
Depending on the parent, that "No!" could even earn the ornery tot a swat on the posterior. Yet, it doesn't change the baby-turned-young'ns natural human desire to be free to exert its will...at will. The likelihood is that...the young'n will tersely tell mommy and daddy "No!" again.

Along life's journey, we learn that "NO!" is a bad word. That it is a word to fear, loathe, avoid, run from, disdain, be offended by, apologize for, disrespect, and allow to ruin our day. A word that a toddler holds fiercely to, struggling to gain its right for independence by expressing its abject dislike for something, or desire to spread its wings, and discover a little more of life's offerings- somehow becomes rude, something to feel guilty about expressing, burdened by "obligation" and niceties. A word that we used to stick out our little bird chest, stamp our diminutive light up Weeboks, and scream on the playground to our playmates without a second thought- becomes an obscenity that we would rather tell a white lie, or jump in a dumpster full of uncleaned chitterlings and hide, instead of having to apologetically whisper to someone. What happened? Did we lose our nerve? How did society strip us of our freedom to object?

I am 33 years old, and JUST really learned how to say and embrace my "NO!" and by golly...it feels GOOOD!!! (a divorce will do that to ya)
"No! I don't want to babysit your boogey-monster children who shattered my 60 inch flat screen, and used the broken glass to shave my dog."
"No! I will not pay for you to hang out with me tonight- when you owe me 500 dollars, but, just bought a new pair of Loubitins, and a Michael Kors bag, yet still don't have a car and live with your mama."
"No! I'm not joking when I tell you that you are in my personal space, and that I am not interested. No! I don't want you to try harder. I just want you to walk away, sir."
NO! NO! NO!

I am at a place in my life...If I don't want to do it, If I don't agree with it, If I am not sure that I can fit it into my schedule... If I feel like you are trying to manipulate, abuse, misuse, handle, or control me...If I already have too much on my plate...If it's going to distract me from my goals and dreams...If it's going to cause me to regret my actions tomorrow...If ot makes me feel less than the beautiful, gifted and blessed woman that I am...If I can't afford it...If it goes against my beliefs...Or just if I don't feel like it. THE ANSWER IS...NO!

There's so much freedom in living your truth, and not being anyone's doormat or option...One of the best life's lessons that I have relearned is how to stick my not-so-bird chest...look someone in the eye...stamp my cowboy boot...hands on my hips...and say NO! Fluff my hair,turn on my heel and walk away. No one will ever take my "NO!" from me ever again.Loving you...does not mean that I have to love me any less, and bury my right to disagree, object, decline, or opt-out...and I will never feel guilty for saying no again.

"Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will,' or 'No, I won't.' Anything beyond this is from the evil one." Matthew 5:37

#freedom #happygirljj #Ilovemylife #growth #refinement #mylifeinthesunshine #jjsyearofdestiny #freedom #notbeingajerkjustnotgoing #lifelessons #mymamahaditright #whoosah #yallthoughtiwasntpostingtodaydidntya #nononoamilliontimesno

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