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JJ's Year of Coming of Age- Day 95- Dreams To Dream in the Dark of the Night...

To have your childhood dream realized is a really big deal. -Maya Rudolph

15 year old me...

wide eyed...
full of dreams! 
I was gonna be a writer (check) 
I was gonna be on tv (check)
I was gonna be on the cover of magazines (check)
I was gonna move to New York (check)
I was gonna record records (check)
I was gonna own successful businesses (still building but check)
I was gonna travel the world doing what I love (check)
I was gonna win a Grammy (made it to the final ballot...but not quite yet)
I was gonna be an advocate for female empowerment (check)
I had no plans to be a wife or mother (but check em anyway)
Never was I supposed to be divorced or have a child die (check that too)
I never imagined being homeless, sleeping on the train, and singing in the subways (check)
You couldn't have paid me to believe that I would live in an extended stay hotel, or homeless shelter with my children (check)
Never conceived that I would move to 4 different states...47 different times in a 7-year span searching for my big break (check)
Never crossed my mind that I would sign 4 separate record deals that would never produce an album. (1,2,3,4...check)
Who would have thought that I would have 3 failed business attempts under my belt before the age of 30? (check)
Filing for Bankruptcy was never an option in my mind (ha ha...fooled you...check)
I would have scoffed at the idea of being fired from 7 different jobs for various reasons beyond my control (Youre FIRED!! check)
Or better yet...even having to work at over 50 organizations and companies over 15 years. (Check)
I never thought I'd be a struggling single mother holding down 5 jobs at one time to keep my head above water and to take care of my children (check)
Who me? Welfare? (yes...you...Check)
I never thought I would have to look in the mirror and see the reflection of substance abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts, and have to fight daily to win (Just say no...check)
I never imagined I would be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 34 years old (Aspies unite!!...check)

But...here I stand...regardless of the hard times, disappointments, failures, struggles, misfortunes, setbacks, tragedies, bad breaks, raw deals, and adversities...that 15-year-old girl smiles brightly on the inside of me and does the running man (the real one...not the new weird thing) cabbage patch, typewriter, and the roger rabbit...cuz we did it...we accomplished everything on our list...and what is even more awesome is that...we are just getting started.

#DontGiveUp #NewMusicComingSoon #MoonChild#ILoveMyLife #NewGoalsInPlace #KeepDreaming#PersistencePaysOff #TellYouWhatIKnow#TheArtistLife #HappyGirlJJ #KeepGoing#DontEverStop #LifeIsWhatYouMakeIt#LifeIsButADream #Blessed#FighterSurvivorandThriver #HoldFastToYouFaith#BluesGirlMagic #CanYouBelieveIThoughtIWasFatThen #FifteenYearOldProblems #Smh


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