Skip to main content

JJ's Year of Coming of Age- Day 95- Dreams To Dream in the Dark of the Night...

To have your childhood dream realized is a really big deal. -Maya Rudolph

15 year old me...

wide eyed...
full of dreams! 
I was gonna be a writer (check) 
I was gonna be on tv (check)
I was gonna be on the cover of magazines (check)
I was gonna move to New York (check)
I was gonna record records (check)
I was gonna own successful businesses (still building but check)
I was gonna travel the world doing what I love (check)
I was gonna win a Grammy (made it to the final ballot...but not quite yet)
I was gonna be an advocate for female empowerment (check)
I had no plans to be a wife or mother (but check em anyway)
Never was I supposed to be divorced or have a child die (check that too)
I never imagined being homeless, sleeping on the train, and singing in the subways (check)
You couldn't have paid me to believe that I would live in an extended stay hotel, or homeless shelter with my children (check)
Never conceived that I would move to 4 different states...47 different times in a 7-year span searching for my big break (check)
Never crossed my mind that I would sign 4 separate record deals that would never produce an album. (1,2,3,4...check)
Who would have thought that I would have 3 failed business attempts under my belt before the age of 30? (check)
Filing for Bankruptcy was never an option in my mind (ha ha...fooled you...check)
I would have scoffed at the idea of being fired from 7 different jobs for various reasons beyond my control (Youre FIRED!! check)
Or better yet...even having to work at over 50 organizations and companies over 15 years. (Check)
I never thought I'd be a struggling single mother holding down 5 jobs at one time to keep my head above water and to take care of my children (check)
Who me? Welfare? (yes...you...Check)
I never thought I would have to look in the mirror and see the reflection of substance abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts, and have to fight daily to win (Just say no...check)
I never imagined I would be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 34 years old (Aspies unite!!...check)

But...here I stand...regardless of the hard times, disappointments, failures, struggles, misfortunes, setbacks, tragedies, bad breaks, raw deals, and adversities...that 15-year-old girl smiles brightly on the inside of me and does the running man (the real one...not the new weird thing) cabbage patch, typewriter, and the roger rabbit...cuz we did it...we accomplished everything on our list...and what is even more awesome is that...we are just getting started.

#DontGiveUp #NewMusicComingSoon #MoonChild#ILoveMyLife #NewGoalsInPlace #KeepDreaming#PersistencePaysOff #TellYouWhatIKnow#TheArtistLife #HappyGirlJJ #KeepGoing#DontEverStop #LifeIsWhatYouMakeIt#LifeIsButADream #Blessed#FighterSurvivorandThriver #HoldFastToYouFaith#BluesGirlMagic #CanYouBelieveIThoughtIWasFatThen #FifteenYearOldProblems #Smh


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY DAY 5- Divorce is of the Devil...

"You don't know how "one" you've really become- until you're ripped apart.  Divorce is of the devil... I wish it on no one...ever."  -jj thames. Not in the mood to face the world today. so I won't. my bed is my solace... listening to my new record, tightening up arrangements, listening for more possibilities- soothes my angst. this divorce stuff irks my soul... one or two days- I barely think about it. next day...I feel like I've been hit by a bullet train at maximum speed- and just want to lay in my darkened bedroom and look at the ceiling. No tmusic, no TV...just me...my bed...and the ceiling. Sleep usually eventually welcomes me. But, then there's the dreams- and waking again to the pain. I feel like a part of me has died. It's a strange kind of pain... its a numbing abiding pain...like an irritating itch deep in your soul that you really have no kind of way to scratch. You just have to talk about it, and su
2 comments
Read more

Jj's Year of Coming Of Age: Day 152- Spillin' the Tea -Part 3- Chronicles of the Sidechick Wife...Not a Typo.

livid, adj . [Screw] you for cheating on me. [Screw] you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating , anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he's gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar . [Screw] you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned" -David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary I'm gonna get back to my Asperger's list tomorrow...but, I had something really interesting happen today...and I want to talk to ya'll about it... I've got a question for you... "Would you stay with your man if he cheated on you, and a baby was conce
1 comment
Read more

JJ's Year of Destiny- Day 273: It All Comes Back Full Circle

"You and I  have defied and defined time  to realign right here where we stand look in my eyes, there's someone waiting there someone you loved oh so very well.  through ages and eons  from creation to revelation  I've loved you over and over and over and over again  from plantations through elevation  royal thrones and abdications  our souls search and find  repair the breach and mend. you are my all in all  I'll always find you no matter how far we are  you are my all in all I'll always find my way back to you, my love  no matter how far we are all in all"  -jj thames so...this thing called "adulting"... I'on like it...i'on like it, not one bit. I feel like being in your 30's is like being a teenager all over again, like its the adolescent years of adulthood, except with responsibilities hanging over your head... you have the breaking up or distancing of friendships. (often because of bei
1 comment
Read more