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JJ's Year Of Destiny- Day 40-Wrote a Song About It, Wanna Hear It...Here it Go!

Scared? Do it anyway...
-jj thames.  

Pricilla Shirer once said that whenever fear surrounds something...typically that is the very thing that you need to explore doing. Fear will keep you from your destiny. God doesn't use fear to guide us.

okay...so...
I have been scratching my head on how to begin my record.
as you know...I write/sing my truth.
I have to be in the makeup chair in 3 hours, to prepare for my photoshoot for my upcoming record, Raw Sugar. But, I can't sleep.
My show was amazing last night...I had an high off of it for a while...slappin myself up fives...but, I felt this niggling in my soul...An tinglng of my writers spidey sense, I knew what was coming. A "heart" song. I tried to ignore it.

But, I haven't been able to dismiss this cadence in my head.
I have tried and tried to move it out of my brain...
like a 2 year old kicking and screaming...laying on the floor in the supermarket... "I don't wanna..."
I don't wanna sing this song...
but, it wont go away...

I don't think that people really truly realize how personal this record (or any other record of mine) is to me...
I pour myself...my truth...good, bad, and ugly into my songs...
I bleed and shine on wax.
I reveal facets of me that other people secretly see in themselves, but most times never admit out loud...ever. But, somehow I end up screaming it from the mountaintops, and telling ALL my business.
I don't know how to do it any other way...

But this cadence...
this chant...
my "spiritual"
is in essence haunting me tonight.
I know I must record it.
I simply must record it.
I cant not record it...
I know it must be the opening to my record...
because, well...it's the quintessential beginning of the story for this record...and boy, does this record tell a story.

oh...but, its soooo intimately personal.
embarrassingly so...
frighteningly so...
so much so, that I know it will be the thing that pushes this record into critical acclaim. (not that critical acclaim is the only thing I care about, cuz it's not...but, lets be honest, that's the point, is it not? I don't see Adele or anybody else with "honest music" refusing their grammys and the like.)

I feel that we as artist bamboozle ourselves when we say that we don't care about the masses listening to our heart songs...
ya'll know I call a spade a spade...and that genuinely is poppycock.
We sing...to be heard, empathized with, and to share our humanity- our ideals...our stories.  We find release, often, peace, and most certainly- freedom in getting "naked" in front of people.

When we find ourselves angry and put out is when someone infringes on our right to tell our truth, and in turn, aborts our freedom...steals it away, and puts us in a box.
THAT is why we fight the mainstream...or the "powers that be." Critical acclaim REALLY has nothing to do with that- despite popular belief. (if you could ask some of my favorite artists like Billie Holiday, Ray Charles, Etta James, Amy Winehouse, and Phyllis Hyman...Michael Jackson...James Brown...or Stevie Wonder...writers...singers of soul and blues...who wore their hearts on their sleeves, and the world fell in love with them, and their candor. They would tell you...knowing that they were understood...made them feel a little more connected with life...with mankind as a whole. The "commercial" success merely was an outward indicator that people were listening. Do we call any of them "sellouts"?)

I digress...it is in the sharing of my deepest intimacy that I know others will find freedom, and I will cross over from mediocrity into greatness...but, I so desperately want to keep it to myself. I don't want to share THIS hurt...allow myself to be humbled to THAT point...or to be so transparent that I become translucent. THIS song...this...this... melodic pulse, unburying itself from my sub conscience, and surging from my soul...is telling of the very subject that I hold so deeply and closely to my heart...I'd kill for it. I'd die for it... I've even chosen to live for it.

But, as I fight myself, and this cadence...somehow it bubbles out of my soul...the words write themselves...The tears incessantly fall, and my heart pounds in my chest. I sing the words over and over and over...I know that it will very well be...the first track on my record...the introduction, and yet...the completion of THIS particular story...and I am scared to life...but, that's never stopped me before.

Raw Sugar...This record has stretched me to the max...2016 is going to be a very fine year...*deep breath* I'm ready...*wiping tears* I'm ready to tell my story...one 'mo 'gin.
Lord God, help me. #naked #ohwell #shrug #newrecord2016 #theartistlife #msbluesdiva #ilovemylife #ilovewhatido #ineedtogetatleastahourofsleep #ialwaysdothis #hashtagabuse #goodnight #forerealthistime

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

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Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 28, 2015 at 5:55 AM

    Good read. & sing your song & tell your story I love you friend #Thamesnaked

    ReplyDelete

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