Jj's Year of Coming of Age- Day 103- It's Time To Start All Over Again

It's always amazing to write new music---
as one of those "artsy" people...whatever I am going through is addressed in my writing...Writing is how I purge, heal, grow, clarify, and process...It's how I breathe...

My influences are truly different this time around. My sound is different this time around...I feel like I'm finally stripping away expectations of others and revealing myself as the artist that I have always been in my head. I have nothing to lose. Songwriting concepts that I've wanted to capture for a long time now, but hadn't reached the level of musicianship to be able to execute it without it sounding forced- are now flowing effortlessly like water.

It's not as simple as writing about broken hearts, and angry woman anthems...though those have served me well over the years...I'm tackling subjects that make me walk circumspectly around my own heart and mind, looking into the shadows, and expanding the understanding of myself and my relation to my environment around me.

Betrayal, acceptance and moving on, protecting oneself from becoming diluted, finding my place in the big picture of life, enjoying life and the moments in between the chaos, recognizing and confronting evil, demolishing filters and saying what others only wish they could...addressing the state of humanity, and the need for social change...There's a raw feral energy in this music...and while my world is crumbling around me...it's giving me life. While I often feel lost, and out of control...It's giving me direction, a best friend, and a comfort...while I am isolated and locked away in my metal castle in the sky, writing and recording...its the music that keeps me from being lonely.

I don't expect anyone to see my vision...I've walked alone for a longtime...I now find solace in it...and I'm ready to get beyond the surface...to elevate even more so...as a woman...and as an artist. Like my mama used to say..."I can show you better than I can tell you..."

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JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY DAY 5- Divorce is of the Devil...

"You don't know how "one" you've really become- until you're ripped apart. Divorce is of the devil... I wish it on no one...ever." -jj thames. Not in the mood to face the world today. so I won't. my bed is my solace... listening to my new record, tightening up arrangements, listening for more possibilities- soothes my angst. this divorce stuff irks my soul... one or two days- I barely think about it. next day...I feel like I've been hit by a bullet train at maximum speed- and just want to lay in my darkened bedroom and look at the ceiling. No tmusic, no TV...just me...my bed...and the ceiling. Sleep usually eventually welcomes me. But, then there's the dreams- and waking again to the pain. I feel like a part of me has died. It's a strange kind of pain... its a numbing abiding pain...like an irritating itch deep in your soul that you really have no kind of way to scratch. You just have to talk about it, and su...

JJ's YEAR OF DESTINY- DAY 2- Moment By Moment

"Live one moment at a time... sometimes a day is still just too long" -jj thames. Today is the day that I took a step back, and said... "Whoa...Lord...do you know how long a year is?? That's...365 days!! 8,760 hours!! That's...that's...525,600 minutes!! 31,536,000 seconds!! and a bazillion, gagillion, moments!! Oh Lawd! What have I done??" I began to feel myself get light headed as I fanned myself, and instantly spiraled into loneliness, and despair...and kicked myself for making the lofty commitment. (Really felt like punching myself in the face) "Fix it Jesus!" is what I whispered maybe 8 or 9 times under my breath- but nothing changed. I had wrote it down, told my accountability partners...and made the promise to God. I'm stuck, and felt like throwing an all out 2-year-old-I'ma-embarrass-my-mama-in-the-store-fall-down-on-the-floor-knockin-stuff-offa-shelves-everybody-looking-at-her-like-you-need-to-whoop-your-ch...

Jj's Year of Coming of Age: Day 178- Spillin' Tea- Cussin Mad...And Tryin' To Forgive...

"I used to think that the worst thing in life to end up alone. It's not... The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone. " -Robin Williams Pictured above...2013...My son Israel and I in our new home after 31/2 years of on again, off again homelessness. We were pretty stoked. Right now is truly one of the best times of my life...go figure. FINALLY...after all of the hurting, pain. suffering...sacrificing, fighting, surviving... darkness, confusion, fear...shame, depression, and loneliness...My dreams...my vision of what my life was always supposed to be, even as a little girl- is materializing and indubitably coming to pass. And while I should be over the moon- flipping cartwheels, not caring if the world sees my panty drawers, and skipping around singing the smurf song...happy as a pig in fresh poo...I'm not... Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful...beyond grateful...honored...humbled, and not taki...

jj thames...naked.

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