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JJ's Year of Destiny- Day 75- Looking Like a Fool and Proud of It



I've lived my life for me...

Most bad, little good...

Now it's His turn.

-Jj Thames.


People will take the one bad thing you did, and define you...
how do you reverse that?

I have lived a life so sordid that when I share bits and pieces, It leaves demure women and sophisticated ladies, clutching their pearls, and "blessing my heart." Many folks don't believe me, because by the grace of God, I don't look like what I've been through...matter of fact...it seems that the older I get, the more I fall in love with Jesus, and give Him my all...the younger people think I am.

"Why do you jump around, and cry, and fall on your knees, Jennifer? Why do you outstretch your hands, and often become speechless and overwhelmed? Why do you smile, and spin in circles, and laugh when you are singing songs to God? It doesn't take all that...God knows your heart, and He is not moved by sensationalism and physical displays of emotion. It only draws attention to self, and it is undignified...The church house is not a circus! God is a God of ORDER!" they say, with their chests puffed up, and looking down their noses at me.

"Oh, my dear friend...bless your heart..."I say, "See, like David...I will become more undignified than this...you ain't seen nothing yet! Those who have been forgiven much (and I have been forgiven a whole lot of much!!) love much. And, I love Him...Oh! how I love Him. He had to dig down deep to come and get me...I had to soak in His blood a bit to get the crud off of my life and to be delivered and set free, I couldn't just take a shower...I had to have a hot bath, with a capful of bleach. He set me free! I am free indeed! I will give Him my radical, unfiltered, passionate, intimate, over the top, all that I have, I didn't even see you standing there, sweat poppin, mascara smeared, hair nappy, snot runnin, top of my lungs, drunk in the Spirit praise. I apologize if I offend you or make you uncomfortable, because that is not my intention. But, if you knew like I know what He's brought me through, and bringing me to...you'd act a fool just like me."

See...You may recall the men I slept with, the babies I had out of wedlock, the lies I told, the money I squandered, the husbands I stole, the curse words I spewed, the sensual dances I danced for money, the man that raped me, the others that molested me, the inconsistency of my church attendance, me being the backsliding preachers kid, the alcohol I got addicted to, the homeless shelters I lived in, the jails I was booked into, the girls I kissed, the fights I got into, the divorce I had...you may remember things that I don't even remember because I was too intoxicated or blacked out to recall, and you may want to define me by those things.

You said I wouldn't amount to anything, that I was too far gone...that I was cursed, and not usable by God. You said that I was a bad seed, that I wouldn't make it...that I was a statistic, worthless, an idiot savant, a hopeless cause...not worthy of being a contributing member to His body...

but GOD says that I am forgiven...righteous...holy...delivered...set free...called...separated...pure...invaluable...beautiful...justified...guiltless...guaranteed a successful future...favored...safe...royal...LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY...and I'm just crazy enough to believe Him...

I can't help but to love Him...I can't help but to show Him, and to tell Him...I couldn't fix myself...He fixed me...I couldn't love Him or myself...But, He loved me...I couldn't shake my guilt or my shame...and He made me brand new. I've given so much to so many...who have done nothing for me, but use me until there was nothing more to use...and He gave me double for my trouble. Therefore, I give all that I have to Him when I sing Him those songs telling Him how beautiful, and awesome, and mighty, and wonderful, and amazing, and lovely, and opulent, and sweet, and dazzling, and supreme He is, because He is worthy, and because of Him...I won't be remembered for my failures...but for my worship.

#HeBroughtMeAMightyLongWay #YouAintGottaTellItImaTellIt #NeverAshamed #TransparencySaveLives #YouAintAlwaysBeenSaved #HeWithoutSinThrowABrick #FromTheBookOfJJ #TellTheTruthShameTheDevil #TheDevilPlaysInDarkness #ExposeHimHeCantPlayNoMore #AuthenticFaith #GodITrustYou #ILoveMyLife #DavidWorshippedTilHeWasInHisDrawers #IHaventDoneThatYet #IfICanSangMyFaceOffInAClub #ICanSangTilIFallOutForJesus

"I tell you, her sins--and they are many--have been forgiven,

so she has shown me much love. But a person who is

forgiven little shows only little love." Luke 7:47


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